Terrific Threes

I am learning how parenting is so much tougher than anyone ever told me. My three year old, Ellie, loves to test my patience, especially in public and around my friends and family. I feel like I am constantly saying "no", "don't", "stop". I am currently reading a book by Gary Thomas called "Sacred Parenting". I've only read the first chapter and already I'm in awe of how he relates parenting to how God sees us as children and oh, how he loves us. I also have the David Crowder Band song "How He Loves" on my mind a lot lately. Even though I so often feel like I'm not worthy of loving or my kids drive me so crazy, I hear His voice, "Oh, how I love you, Hayley." "Oh, how I love you, Ellie." "Oh, how I love you, Alyssa." I'm so thankful He still loves us, despite my faults. 

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves

We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

And oh, how He loves us
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
how he loves

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how he loves
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Summer Dreams

We're coming into Memorial Day weekend and I'm reflecting on so many things. I am so thankful for my husband, Matt, who faithfully serves his country. We miss him so much! We're one month down during this year apart while he is serving in South Korea. I am thankful a month has gone by, though I am sad that he is missing so much of our girls' lives. Last night, Ellie asked me if Daddy sees the same moon. I say yes, honey and she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. It seems harder this third time around because the girls are old enough to realize their daddy is not around and one is old enough to ask questions. Alyssa is starting to talk more each day. I feel like I need to record her everyday so Matt will not miss out on everything. I am excited to have the summer to enjoy the warm weather, cherish time with family nearby and sip on some southern sweet tea and lemonade. I never considered myself to be a teacher, but I have no doubt that is what I need to be doing with my girls this summer so Ellie will be prepared for preschool in the fall and Alyssa will be ready for preschool the following fall. Being apart from Matt makes me really admire single moms who day in and day out work to provide for their families and be a single parent making all their own decisions without support from a husband. I am blessed Matt and I are able to communicate so often through Skype video. God knows just what you need when you need it. I am thankful for these summer days ahead and all that God will do!

Some ideas...A Case of the Momdays, Wordless Wednesday, Thankful or Thoughtful Thursday, Saturday Sayings or Weekend Wonders

You make me new, You are making me new

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You are making me new

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
~Gungor


This song has really encouraged me over the last couple of months. So many changes have occurred. Matt is now in South Korea at Camp Hovey serving a year in a Key Development position, aka KD in Army language. We could have chosen to go with him, though we chose to stay in the US to be near family in Roanoke, Virginia. Moving from Fort Gordon, Georgia was so hard because not only was it stressful with all that comes with moving, but so incredibly hard to say goodbye to some very dear friends both military friends and church family. Then we endured more stress as we unpacked all our boxes and tried to get the new house ready in Virginia before Matt left for Korea. It was then very hard to say goodbye to Matt for a year. Even though we are able to talk via Skype most everyday, it's not the same as being together in person. It's so much better than even a decade ago, so we have to thank the Lord we are able to communicate via Skype! The girls are growing so fast! Ellie will be 4 and Alyssa will be 2, both in August. They seem to be handling the transition well, so that is a blessing! I just pray that God gives me the strength to endure this challenging year apart from Matt. I feel as if I am a temporary single mom. I have lots of help on the weekends and some weeknights with my family nearby! I just miss my husband and I miss seeing him be a Daddy around our girls. This year I am looking forward to what God is going to do, in my own personal life, my parenting, my marriage and in my girls' lives. He makes me new. He is making me new. With love, Hay

Two Under Two

It's been a little nutty lately trying to stay afloat with life. Between potty training, disciplining two year old, Ellie, who I've been told by her preschool/Sunday School teachers that she is quite active, keeping my two year old entertained and making time to teach her fun things, dropping and picking her up from preschool, then switching gears to changing Alyssa's diapers and preparing bottles every few hours, making time to play with my baby girl who is almost 9 months old already, then being involved in a military wives' bible study (PWOC), bible study at church...it can get crazy. I wonder how did I get here? Why am I so stressed out all the time? My husband worries that I never relax. I get up early with my early risers (the girls, not my husband), then stay up late to take full advantage of my "free time" after the girls are in bed. So in the middle of all of that I try to keep a clean house, have clean laundry, folded and put away, not to mention all the projects I intend to do. I want to scrapbook my girls' first years, create photobooks for the following years, Matt's Army scrapbook, our time in Hawaii and Alaska, and books for the grandparents. There is just not enough time in the day. I'm struggling with getting my daily moments alone with God. It seems I just get 5 minutes here and there. I guess no matter what, as long as I find some time to pray and thank God for my blessings, that's good. I try to make time to workout, plan meals, budget our finances, and spend time with friends. I need help! The more time I spend with my girls, the more I appreciate my own mom. Kids are a lot of work, in addition to all the other things in life! But they are so worth it! I just want to learn how to be the best mom I can be and the best wife I can be in the process of it all. I need to learn how to best manage my time. Maybe if I workout first thing, that would work. I am learning that if we tithe in church regularly, we do not run out of money or go under at the end of the pay period. Weird how that works. I am learning daily that if I listen to God, He provides for our needs, He brings His perfect peace. I just need to listen more, starting NOW!

Sister Love

On this Valentine's Day, I want to thank God for my sweet little Valentine's - Elliana & Alyssa (in addition to my #1 Valentine, my hubby, Matt). It's such a joy to watch my two year old and six month old interact with one another. They just look at each other eye to eye and stare. Alyssa, the baby, smiles and tends to make sporadic noises that are pretty entertaining. I am so happy to have two girls so they can share what my little sister, six years younger, and I share...sister love. It is a challenge to get Ellie, my toddler, to not play rough with Alyssa. I feel like I'm constantly saying, "be gentle" "be nice", "Ellie, DON'T"! I turn my head one time and she's got her foot on her  baby sister or getting ready to throw something at her. It is making this parenting process all the more interesting and challenging. But I hope that someday, Ellie and Alyssa can be close. I will forever cherish my sister and hope my girls can grow just as close.

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities.  She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway.  She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark.  She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink.  Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.  ~Barbara Alpert

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

Today I had to give my daughter, Ellie, two years old, a spanking. A real, honest spanking, like the ones I remember as a child. I waited until we got home from picking her up at preschool or Mother's Day Out at a local Baptist church, then took her straight to her room, and sat down with her. Then I told her because she behaved so badly as I picked her up from preschool today, she was getting punished for not listening to me when I called her, then proceeded to throw a full blown tantrum in front of everyone. I felt like all the other mothers, children and teachers were wondering why this child absolutely refused to go home with her mother. I was embarrassed. But I recall some kids throwing similar tantrums from time to time, so I don't think it's only my child. Though, at the time, it certainly felt like she was the only one who could not be controlled.

I felt horrible having to spank her. But I sincerely feel that the discipline I received as a child benefited me through my life. I made sure I wasn't fuming before actually spanking her. I laid her on my lap and pulled down her pull-ups and gave her three swats. I now believe "this hurts me as much as it hurts you." I am wondering how to handle this tantrum process. It seems so hard. I think I'm a pretty laid back person, so it's tough to have such a strong willed child. I know it could really benefit her in the long run, if I discipline her through God's authority and His love. I pray that she learns from this and that I can help her become a respectful, polite little girl through toddlerhood. This parenting thing is a challenge indeed!