Terrific Threes

I am learning how parenting is so much tougher than anyone ever told me. My three year old, Ellie, loves to test my patience, especially in public and around my friends and family. I feel like I am constantly saying "no", "don't", "stop". I am currently reading a book by Gary Thomas called "Sacred Parenting". I've only read the first chapter and already I'm in awe of how he relates parenting to how God sees us as children and oh, how he loves us. I also have the David Crowder Band song "How He Loves" on my mind a lot lately. Even though I so often feel like I'm not worthy of loving or my kids drive me so crazy, I hear His voice, "Oh, how I love you, Hayley." "Oh, how I love you, Ellie." "Oh, how I love you, Alyssa." I'm so thankful He still loves us, despite my faults. 

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

And oh, how He loves us so
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.

He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves

We are His portion and He is our prize
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So Heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

And oh, how He loves us
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us so
how he loves

Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how he loves
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves us,
Oh how He loves.

Summer Dreams

We're coming into Memorial Day weekend and I'm reflecting on so many things. I am so thankful for my husband, Matt, who faithfully serves his country. We miss him so much! We're one month down during this year apart while he is serving in South Korea. I am thankful a month has gone by, though I am sad that he is missing so much of our girls' lives. Last night, Ellie asked me if Daddy sees the same moon. I say yes, honey and she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. It seems harder this third time around because the girls are old enough to realize their daddy is not around and one is old enough to ask questions. Alyssa is starting to talk more each day. I feel like I need to record her everyday so Matt will not miss out on everything. I am excited to have the summer to enjoy the warm weather, cherish time with family nearby and sip on some southern sweet tea and lemonade. I never considered myself to be a teacher, but I have no doubt that is what I need to be doing with my girls this summer so Ellie will be prepared for preschool in the fall and Alyssa will be ready for preschool the following fall. Being apart from Matt makes me really admire single moms who day in and day out work to provide for their families and be a single parent making all their own decisions without support from a husband. I am blessed Matt and I are able to communicate so often through Skype video. God knows just what you need when you need it. I am thankful for these summer days ahead and all that God will do!

Some ideas...A Case of the Momdays, Wordless Wednesday, Thankful or Thoughtful Thursday, Saturday Sayings or Weekend Wonders

You make me new, You are making me new

All this pain
I wonder if I’ll ever find my way
I wonder if my life could really change at all
All this earth
Could all that is lost ever be found
Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

All around
Hope is springing up from this old ground
Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You are making me new

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
~Gungor


This song has really encouraged me over the last couple of months. So many changes have occurred. Matt is now in South Korea at Camp Hovey serving a year in a Key Development position, aka KD in Army language. We could have chosen to go with him, though we chose to stay in the US to be near family in Roanoke, Virginia. Moving from Fort Gordon, Georgia was so hard because not only was it stressful with all that comes with moving, but so incredibly hard to say goodbye to some very dear friends both military friends and church family. Then we endured more stress as we unpacked all our boxes and tried to get the new house ready in Virginia before Matt left for Korea. It was then very hard to say goodbye to Matt for a year. Even though we are able to talk via Skype most everyday, it's not the same as being together in person. It's so much better than even a decade ago, so we have to thank the Lord we are able to communicate via Skype! The girls are growing so fast! Ellie will be 4 and Alyssa will be 2, both in August. They seem to be handling the transition well, so that is a blessing! I just pray that God gives me the strength to endure this challenging year apart from Matt. I feel as if I am a temporary single mom. I have lots of help on the weekends and some weeknights with my family nearby! I just miss my husband and I miss seeing him be a Daddy around our girls. This year I am looking forward to what God is going to do, in my own personal life, my parenting, my marriage and in my girls' lives. He makes me new. He is making me new. With love, Hay

Two Under Two

It's been a little nutty lately trying to stay afloat with life. Between potty training, disciplining two year old, Ellie, who I've been told by her preschool/Sunday School teachers that she is quite active, keeping my two year old entertained and making time to teach her fun things, dropping and picking her up from preschool, then switching gears to changing Alyssa's diapers and preparing bottles every few hours, making time to play with my baby girl who is almost 9 months old already, then being involved in a military wives' bible study (PWOC), bible study at church...it can get crazy. I wonder how did I get here? Why am I so stressed out all the time? My husband worries that I never relax. I get up early with my early risers (the girls, not my husband), then stay up late to take full advantage of my "free time" after the girls are in bed. So in the middle of all of that I try to keep a clean house, have clean laundry, folded and put away, not to mention all the projects I intend to do. I want to scrapbook my girls' first years, create photobooks for the following years, Matt's Army scrapbook, our time in Hawaii and Alaska, and books for the grandparents. There is just not enough time in the day. I'm struggling with getting my daily moments alone with God. It seems I just get 5 minutes here and there. I guess no matter what, as long as I find some time to pray and thank God for my blessings, that's good. I try to make time to workout, plan meals, budget our finances, and spend time with friends. I need help! The more time I spend with my girls, the more I appreciate my own mom. Kids are a lot of work, in addition to all the other things in life! But they are so worth it! I just want to learn how to be the best mom I can be and the best wife I can be in the process of it all. I need to learn how to best manage my time. Maybe if I workout first thing, that would work. I am learning that if we tithe in church regularly, we do not run out of money or go under at the end of the pay period. Weird how that works. I am learning daily that if I listen to God, He provides for our needs, He brings His perfect peace. I just need to listen more, starting NOW!

Sister Love

On this Valentine's Day, I want to thank God for my sweet little Valentine's - Elliana & Alyssa (in addition to my #1 Valentine, my hubby, Matt). It's such a joy to watch my two year old and six month old interact with one another. They just look at each other eye to eye and stare. Alyssa, the baby, smiles and tends to make sporadic noises that are pretty entertaining. I am so happy to have two girls so they can share what my little sister, six years younger, and I share...sister love. It is a challenge to get Ellie, my toddler, to not play rough with Alyssa. I feel like I'm constantly saying, "be gentle" "be nice", "Ellie, DON'T"! I turn my head one time and she's got her foot on her  baby sister or getting ready to throw something at her. It is making this parenting process all the more interesting and challenging. But I hope that someday, Ellie and Alyssa can be close. I will forever cherish my sister and hope my girls can grow just as close.

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities.  She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway.  She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark.  She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink.  Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.  ~Barbara Alpert

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

Today I had to give my daughter, Ellie, two years old, a spanking. A real, honest spanking, like the ones I remember as a child. I waited until we got home from picking her up at preschool or Mother's Day Out at a local Baptist church, then took her straight to her room, and sat down with her. Then I told her because she behaved so badly as I picked her up from preschool today, she was getting punished for not listening to me when I called her, then proceeded to throw a full blown tantrum in front of everyone. I felt like all the other mothers, children and teachers were wondering why this child absolutely refused to go home with her mother. I was embarrassed. But I recall some kids throwing similar tantrums from time to time, so I don't think it's only my child. Though, at the time, it certainly felt like she was the only one who could not be controlled.

I felt horrible having to spank her. But I sincerely feel that the discipline I received as a child benefited me through my life. I made sure I wasn't fuming before actually spanking her. I laid her on my lap and pulled down her pull-ups and gave her three swats. I now believe "this hurts me as much as it hurts you." I am wondering how to handle this tantrum process. It seems so hard. I think I'm a pretty laid back person, so it's tough to have such a strong willed child. I know it could really benefit her in the long run, if I discipline her through God's authority and His love. I pray that she learns from this and that I can help her become a respectful, polite little girl through toddlerhood. This parenting thing is a challenge indeed!

New Year, New Me

Happy New Year! 2010 was a great year for the Haynes fam. We moved from Alaska to Georgia, Matt changed jobs to be an instructor at Signal Captain's Career Course, we had our second baby girl, and made many new friends! So far 2011 has been off to a great start! Matt is working a lot, but he is enjoying what he does! So we can't complain! Ellie is almost two and a half years old and we are finding out she is developing into a little girl overnight. Alyssa is now six months old and on the verge of sitting up and crawling. I am continually amazed how fast kids grow. You are told that when they are first born, but don't believe it for yourself until it happens right under your nose.

We are very active with our church, Vineyard Community Church in Evans, Georgia. Matt leads bible study and worship from time to time and we are in the process of working with the children's ministry in the near future. I am staying active with the PWOC community on Fort Gordon. This past year, I served as the Administrative Coordinator. I really enjoyed being a part of the board and getting to know the ladies better. I was not able to go on the International Conference in November because Alyssa was just a few months old and I only attended our local spring retreat in South Carolina for a day so I could continue breastfeeding Alyssa. I can only pump so much milk for her when I'm away! Even though breastfeeding is a big commitment, I know it's well worth the time and effort. I also really enjoy bonding with my baby.

I feel like there is so much to say these days, so much on my mind. I have recently been wondering how stay-at-home-moms stay sane day in and day out. Life with a toddler and a baby can be treacherous at times. Sometimes I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel after piles of laundry and full garbage bags of diapers and wipes, but from time to time, mostly when I'm spending time with God, I see the light! I know these precious children are only in my care for a certain amount of time and I am called to raise them as their mother. I really enjoy the pleasant moments, the smiles, hugs, laughs, giggles, dancing, reading books, puzzles, playing on the playground, swinging. I don't enjoy the tantrums, the crying bouts, the poop, the boogs, the spit up, but it's all one big package of joy! I am currently doing a study on Judy Rossi's Raising Responsive Children, as well as finishing Tedd Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart. I continually learn more and more about being a parent. I hope to apply all that I am learning!

Any advice you have about motherhood, I certainly welcome! I need all the help I can get!

God bless you!

Shaping Influences and Godward Orientation Scriptures

I just started a new bible study group, studying Tedd Tripp's "Shepherding a Child's Heart" book. This week we read and studied about Shaping Influences and Godward Orientation. Here are scriptures to check out on these topics:

Family Worship: Psalm 99:5, Psalm 5:7, Psalm 34:9, Psalm 34:3, Psalm 95:6, Deut 6:6-7, 1 Chron 16:29, 1 Chron 16:9, 1 Peter 3:8-11
Conflict Resolution: Isaiah 32:17, Psalm 19:14, Psalm 49:3, Psalm 141:3, Psalm 34:14, Prov 14:29, Prov 17:14, Matt 5:23-26, Matt 18:15-20
Family Values: Prov 1:7, Joshua 24:15
Roles of Father and Mother: Prov 1:8, Ex 20: 12, Deut 5:16, Eph 6:1-2, Prov 31, 1 Thess 2:7-8, 1 Thess 2:9-11, Num 1:22, Deut 6:1-7, Psalm 103:13, Song of Songs 8:1, Song of Songs 2:14, 1 Tim 5:8, 1 Tim 6:12, 1 Tim 2:12-13
Importance of Serving Others: Matt 20:28, Matt 23:11, Mark 9:35, Acts 20: 35, Rom 12:7, Gal 5:13-14, 1 Peter 4:10-11
Fellowship:1 Thess 5:11, 1 John 1:3, John 17:21-23, Eph 5:30, Acts 2:44-47, 1 Cor 10:16
Importance of Education: Rom 12:2, 2 Tim 3:16
Development of Talents: Rom 12:6-8, 1 Cor 12:4, Luke 8:16
Decision Making: Prov 3:5-6, James 1:5, 1 John 5:14, 2 Tim 3:16-17
Character Development: 1 Tim 4:7, Phil 2:1-11, Luke 6:27-45, Prov 27:17
Place of the Bible: Prov 1:33, 2 Tim 3:15-17, 2 Thess 2:15, Acts 2:42

poop happens!

We are trying to potty train Ellie now & it is so hard! She peepee'd on the potty at church, but only when all the other kids around are going potty also! At home, she keeps having accidents in her big girl panties. I need some serious help with this potty training gig! I'm learning to not get so grossed out that I get sick. Guess being a parent teaches you to not get grossed out! Feel free to share advice!

We have a new addition...Alyssa Joy!

Long time, no write! It's been awhile since I've posted anything & we have so much more happening in our lives now! We have a new addition to the family, Alyssa Joy Haynes, who was born August 5, 2010 at 6:48am at Trinity Hospital, Augusta, GA. She was 8 lbs 8.8 oz. Matt thought the scale was broken because it read 8.8.8. She is already two months old & starting to smile, bat at things, look around & is more alert each day! We chose the name just a few days before her birth! It was so hard to choose a name that we both agreed on! I knew I wanted Joy to be the middle name even before we knew we were having a girl! I felt God whispering to me during worship at church one Sunday....the middle name should be Joy because we are so filled with joy as God has blessed us with another healthy baby! So far she seems to be laid back! Alyssa already sleeps 4-5 hours at a time most nights! How cool is that?! I'm always afraid I'll jinx myself by saying that!

Ellie is now two years old as of August 25th this year! Her Auntie Val "Wow" as she calls her & I made Elmo cupcakes for her! They were a big hit!  We had my parents, sister & new hubby, Matthew, here visiting us for Alyssa's birth & we had an early birthday party for Ellie. We got her a little kitchen on Amazon that she loves. We got pink since we have another girl who will hopefully enjoy it someday, as well. It's hard to believe she's already two years old! She's starting to put sentences together now, but mostly still learning words. She has a pretty broad vocab though! We love the way she says "Please, Thank You" together all the time before you get a chance to give her what she's asking for. She also says, "Alk" for milk, but chocolate milk is "chocwhik malk". She learned how to push the water dispenser on the fridge, so we now have to lock the button.

Life is very different, crazy at times now, but so blessed! We are loving seeing how Ellie is learning so much! She's such a sponge the way she's catching everything & trying to put things together. She's really sweet with Alyssa, though we're not too confident in leaving her alone for a second with her. She has already given her Cheerios, which did not settle at all with Alyssa. She also tries to cover Alyssa's mouth when she's crying or rock her very fast in her swing. Never a dull moment!

We are learning each day how to be parents! I just started a bible study with some ladies from church & a few military wife friends on Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. I'm very excited to learn how to be a better mommy to my girls, with God's help!

Ellie's First Easter Egg Hunt

Grateful for Girls

We found out yesterday at our ultrasound that we are expecting another baby girl in August 2010. There was a part of me that was hoping for a boy for Matt & for my family who is full of girls, but when I saw the beauty of God's creation on that screen, I knew that I will love this precious baby girl.

Children are a blessing from the Lord! Psalm 157:3-5

Before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you:  A prophet to the nations— that's what I had in mind for you. Jeremiah 1:5 (The Message)

Matt is a little apprehensive about having a house full of girls & making sure they feel beautiful, as he knows from experience, that is a challenge with me! He is already looking ahead at the dating years, more money for prom dresses, paying for two weddings. It's funny how he's looking so far ahead. But I think he will realize what a great dad he is & will be to two girls, once our baby girl is here!  He is already wonderful with Ellie, who is 19 months now!

I have always believed sisters are a beautiful experience. I have a younger sister & love her more everyday. We are six years apart, so through the years it has been difficult to connect on the same level, but now that we're in our 20's (we won't think about this year being my last year of my 20's) we are so close & I could not be more grateful for my little sis.

My mom mentioned as an Army wife, who from time to time is a temporary single mom when Matt is deployed overseas or on TDY, it would be nice to raise girls & not have to worry about all the things that come with raising boys. I have no clue about boys! I think this is going to be a good thing. I'm all for Matt teaching our girls manly things like fixing cars, changing tires, camping, jeepin', etc. We can be tough women!

I know God has a plan & a purpose for everything. We are looking forward to meeting our second daughter in late July or early August. Ellie is going to have so much fun with a sister! If anyone has suggestions on raising multiple girls, feel free to share them!

Happy Spring!

Go Saints!

So I watched the 2010 Superbowl this evening with Matt & really enjoyed it. The Saints vs. Colts game. The New Orleans Saints seemed to be the most genuine team who played the best they could. Watching Drew Brees hold his baby boy at the end made me so emotional! That winning feeling must be one of the best feelings in the whole world.  I loved the commercials, as always, they were pretty funny!

It's getting late, so I better get to bed! Guess there's so much on my mind, but not enough time to share at the moment. More to come...

New Year, New Beginnings!

Well, January is almost over & so many things are happening! We just moved to Augusta, Georgia so Matt can teach Signal Captain's Course for two years. We found a lovely three bedroom, two bath house in Grovetown (right outside Gate 2 of Fort Gordon) that we are renting. So new surroundings, new job for Matt, and new baby on the way due August 3, 2010! We had our first ultrasound last Monday, January 25th and saw our little one moving around (though I'm still not feeling baby kicks yet)! We also heard that beautiful heartbeat! I was a little nervous b/c we weren't able to talk to a doctor until last Friday! We are overjoyed that our family is expanding by two feet this summer! Elliana is now 17 months old and busier than ever! She loves to run around, or as we call it "doing her laps" around the living room/dining room/kitchen in our new house. She is doing great when she is in the nursery at church & at the gym. She loves playing with other kiddos & toys! We couldn't be more blessed with such an active, full of personality little daughter. I'm so excited to see her grow more & more everyday!

I started a new bible study with the Protestant Women of the Chapel (aka PWOC in the Army). We are studying an in depth study of the New Testament. We are friends with another military family here in Georgia that also moved from Alaska. It's such a blessing having friends already in a new area! We are also attending the same church we went to when Matt was here for Signal Captain's Career Course, Vineyard Community Church. A lot of people remembered us & we may be getting into a couple's bible study soon!

It is such a blessing being close to family in Virginia (approx 6-7 hour drive to Roanoke/Seaford/Virginia Beach) so the grandparents, great-grandparents (Gigi in Orlando, Florida), aunts, uncles, & cousins are excited to have us much closer than Alaska!

God is good & we are so excited to see what 2010 brings! May you all be blessed through the new year!

Our Ellie Bop 14 months old!

it's her birthday...

Autumn a mosaic of them all...

"Winter is an etching, spring a watercolor, summer an oil painting and autumn a mosaic of them all." ~ Stanley Horowitz

Just ask Me!

^{John 14.13-14} And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

Early this morning, I couldn't sleep. I woke at 4am in such a stir. I thought the best thing to do was to pray, read God's Word & journal. So I finally acted in obedience to God! I have been feeling the urge to journal for quite some time now. I guess keeping a journal & pen & Bible beside my bed is the best possible place to actually fulfill this goal. So I read the Daily Bread devotion & it led me to John 14.13-14. I've read this Scripture before, but this time I realized if I just ask God for help, He's there! No matter what time of day or night. I don't have to wait for him to wake up (like my husband) or wait until it's a decent time of day (calling a friend or family). Anytime, He's there! What a blessing to be intimate with God!

Yesterday was pretty rough. In the afternoon, I got my hair highlighted & it didn't turn out like I hoped. It's a nice job, but too light for me. Matt even thought so & was honest with me. He told me the cut was nice (just a trim since I'm growing it out, just how he likes), but the color didn't go well with my dark eyebrows. So I'm hoping to get some lowlights put in. You're probably thinking....ok so what, it's just hair! But hair means a lot to women! :) So in light of the highlights, I was pretty upset thinking taking time out for myself (had a wonderful friend, Cameron, watch Ellie for a few hours), getting pampered a bit, would make me feel better. But honestly, it didn't. The having someone wash my hair part & chatting with a friend part was awesome! But when I saw my reflection in the mirror, I didn't like what I saw. Lately, I've been really down about not losing my "baby weight". I am realizing I gained a little too much during pregnancy & breastfeeding didn't help these last 20 lbs just "fall off". I just finished breastfeeding b/c Ellie seemed content with whole milk & it's so much more convenient. I feel good about going a whole year of breastfeeding, but I felt it was time to move on. Maybe having Matt return from a year in Iraq had something to do with it too! ;) But the weight has not simply fallen off like a lot of women claim. I have been exercising more, as I joined the Alaska Club, but I guess I haven't been working hard enough & not eating the right foods, or drinking enough water. I am striving to lose weight, look more attractive to feel better about myself & be a better, more attractive wife for my husband, & set a good example for Ellie. So I've been struggling & struggling with my body image, my pre-pregnancy clothes not fitting, not liking how I look in pictures, comparing myself to other women. Last night when I read this Scripture, John 14.13-14, I realized I can ask God to help me lose weight & feel better about myself! I can do all things through Him, who strengthens me! (Phillipians 4:13) I shouldn't have to rely on my husband or my friends for approval in how I feel as a woman. I need to go to God & ask Him to restore me. Oh how I want this to soak in! I want to be a better woman for myself, my husband, my daughter, my friends, my family. If you have any suggestions on how to lose "those last 10-20 lbs after a baby", feel free to share! I am considering the Hallelujah Diet http://www.hacres.com/diet/diet.asp, Slim in Six (Weeks) http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/slim_in_6.do, Kickboxing/Tae Bo DVDs.

Thank you for being my blog buddy!

Love,

Hayley