Sister Love

On this Valentine's Day, I want to thank God for my sweet little Valentine's - Elliana & Alyssa (in addition to my #1 Valentine, my hubby, Matt). It's such a joy to watch my two year old and six month old interact with one another. They just look at each other eye to eye and stare. Alyssa, the baby, smiles and tends to make sporadic noises that are pretty entertaining. I am so happy to have two girls so they can share what my little sister, six years younger, and I share...sister love. It is a challenge to get Ellie, my toddler, to not play rough with Alyssa. I feel like I'm constantly saying, "be gentle" "be nice", "Ellie, DON'T"! I turn my head one time and she's got her foot on her  baby sister or getting ready to throw something at her. It is making this parenting process all the more interesting and challenging. But I hope that someday, Ellie and Alyssa can be close. I will forever cherish my sister and hope my girls can grow just as close.

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities.  She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway.  She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark.  She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink.  Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.  ~Barbara Alpert

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

Today I had to give my daughter, Ellie, two years old, a spanking. A real, honest spanking, like the ones I remember as a child. I waited until we got home from picking her up at preschool or Mother's Day Out at a local Baptist church, then took her straight to her room, and sat down with her. Then I told her because she behaved so badly as I picked her up from preschool today, she was getting punished for not listening to me when I called her, then proceeded to throw a full blown tantrum in front of everyone. I felt like all the other mothers, children and teachers were wondering why this child absolutely refused to go home with her mother. I was embarrassed. But I recall some kids throwing similar tantrums from time to time, so I don't think it's only my child. Though, at the time, it certainly felt like she was the only one who could not be controlled.

I felt horrible having to spank her. But I sincerely feel that the discipline I received as a child benefited me through my life. I made sure I wasn't fuming before actually spanking her. I laid her on my lap and pulled down her pull-ups and gave her three swats. I now believe "this hurts me as much as it hurts you." I am wondering how to handle this tantrum process. It seems so hard. I think I'm a pretty laid back person, so it's tough to have such a strong willed child. I know it could really benefit her in the long run, if I discipline her through God's authority and His love. I pray that she learns from this and that I can help her become a respectful, polite little girl through toddlerhood. This parenting thing is a challenge indeed!

New Year, New Me

Happy New Year! 2010 was a great year for the Haynes fam. We moved from Alaska to Georgia, Matt changed jobs to be an instructor at Signal Captain's Career Course, we had our second baby girl, and made many new friends! So far 2011 has been off to a great start! Matt is working a lot, but he is enjoying what he does! So we can't complain! Ellie is almost two and a half years old and we are finding out she is developing into a little girl overnight. Alyssa is now six months old and on the verge of sitting up and crawling. I am continually amazed how fast kids grow. You are told that when they are first born, but don't believe it for yourself until it happens right under your nose.

We are very active with our church, Vineyard Community Church in Evans, Georgia. Matt leads bible study and worship from time to time and we are in the process of working with the children's ministry in the near future. I am staying active with the PWOC community on Fort Gordon. This past year, I served as the Administrative Coordinator. I really enjoyed being a part of the board and getting to know the ladies better. I was not able to go on the International Conference in November because Alyssa was just a few months old and I only attended our local spring retreat in South Carolina for a day so I could continue breastfeeding Alyssa. I can only pump so much milk for her when I'm away! Even though breastfeeding is a big commitment, I know it's well worth the time and effort. I also really enjoy bonding with my baby.

I feel like there is so much to say these days, so much on my mind. I have recently been wondering how stay-at-home-moms stay sane day in and day out. Life with a toddler and a baby can be treacherous at times. Sometimes I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel after piles of laundry and full garbage bags of diapers and wipes, but from time to time, mostly when I'm spending time with God, I see the light! I know these precious children are only in my care for a certain amount of time and I am called to raise them as their mother. I really enjoy the pleasant moments, the smiles, hugs, laughs, giggles, dancing, reading books, puzzles, playing on the playground, swinging. I don't enjoy the tantrums, the crying bouts, the poop, the boogs, the spit up, but it's all one big package of joy! I am currently doing a study on Judy Rossi's Raising Responsive Children, as well as finishing Tedd Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart. I continually learn more and more about being a parent. I hope to apply all that I am learning!

Any advice you have about motherhood, I certainly welcome! I need all the help I can get!

God bless you!

Shaping Influences and Godward Orientation Scriptures

I just started a new bible study group, studying Tedd Tripp's "Shepherding a Child's Heart" book. This week we read and studied about Shaping Influences and Godward Orientation. Here are scriptures to check out on these topics:

Family Worship: Psalm 99:5, Psalm 5:7, Psalm 34:9, Psalm 34:3, Psalm 95:6, Deut 6:6-7, 1 Chron 16:29, 1 Chron 16:9, 1 Peter 3:8-11
Conflict Resolution: Isaiah 32:17, Psalm 19:14, Psalm 49:3, Psalm 141:3, Psalm 34:14, Prov 14:29, Prov 17:14, Matt 5:23-26, Matt 18:15-20
Family Values: Prov 1:7, Joshua 24:15
Roles of Father and Mother: Prov 1:8, Ex 20: 12, Deut 5:16, Eph 6:1-2, Prov 31, 1 Thess 2:7-8, 1 Thess 2:9-11, Num 1:22, Deut 6:1-7, Psalm 103:13, Song of Songs 8:1, Song of Songs 2:14, 1 Tim 5:8, 1 Tim 6:12, 1 Tim 2:12-13
Importance of Serving Others: Matt 20:28, Matt 23:11, Mark 9:35, Acts 20: 35, Rom 12:7, Gal 5:13-14, 1 Peter 4:10-11
Fellowship:1 Thess 5:11, 1 John 1:3, John 17:21-23, Eph 5:30, Acts 2:44-47, 1 Cor 10:16
Importance of Education: Rom 12:2, 2 Tim 3:16
Development of Talents: Rom 12:6-8, 1 Cor 12:4, Luke 8:16
Decision Making: Prov 3:5-6, James 1:5, 1 John 5:14, 2 Tim 3:16-17
Character Development: 1 Tim 4:7, Phil 2:1-11, Luke 6:27-45, Prov 27:17
Place of the Bible: Prov 1:33, 2 Tim 3:15-17, 2 Thess 2:15, Acts 2:42

poop happens!

We are trying to potty train Ellie now & it is so hard! She peepee'd on the potty at church, but only when all the other kids around are going potty also! At home, she keeps having accidents in her big girl panties. I need some serious help with this potty training gig! I'm learning to not get so grossed out that I get sick. Guess being a parent teaches you to not get grossed out! Feel free to share advice!

We have a new addition...Alyssa Joy!

Long time, no write! It's been awhile since I've posted anything & we have so much more happening in our lives now! We have a new addition to the family, Alyssa Joy Haynes, who was born August 5, 2010 at 6:48am at Trinity Hospital, Augusta, GA. She was 8 lbs 8.8 oz. Matt thought the scale was broken because it read 8.8.8. She is already two months old & starting to smile, bat at things, look around & is more alert each day! We chose the name just a few days before her birth! It was so hard to choose a name that we both agreed on! I knew I wanted Joy to be the middle name even before we knew we were having a girl! I felt God whispering to me during worship at church one Sunday....the middle name should be Joy because we are so filled with joy as God has blessed us with another healthy baby! So far she seems to be laid back! Alyssa already sleeps 4-5 hours at a time most nights! How cool is that?! I'm always afraid I'll jinx myself by saying that!

Ellie is now two years old as of August 25th this year! Her Auntie Val "Wow" as she calls her & I made Elmo cupcakes for her! They were a big hit!  We had my parents, sister & new hubby, Matthew, here visiting us for Alyssa's birth & we had an early birthday party for Ellie. We got her a little kitchen on Amazon that she loves. We got pink since we have another girl who will hopefully enjoy it someday, as well. It's hard to believe she's already two years old! She's starting to put sentences together now, but mostly still learning words. She has a pretty broad vocab though! We love the way she says "Please, Thank You" together all the time before you get a chance to give her what she's asking for. She also says, "Alk" for milk, but chocolate milk is "chocwhik malk". She learned how to push the water dispenser on the fridge, so we now have to lock the button.

Life is very different, crazy at times now, but so blessed! We are loving seeing how Ellie is learning so much! She's such a sponge the way she's catching everything & trying to put things together. She's really sweet with Alyssa, though we're not too confident in leaving her alone for a second with her. She has already given her Cheerios, which did not settle at all with Alyssa. She also tries to cover Alyssa's mouth when she's crying or rock her very fast in her swing. Never a dull moment!

We are learning each day how to be parents! I just started a bible study with some ladies from church & a few military wife friends on Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp. I'm very excited to learn how to be a better mommy to my girls, with God's help!