Early this morning, I couldn't sleep. I woke at 4am in such a stir. I thought the best thing to do was to pray, read God's Word & journal. So I finally acted in obedience to God! I have been feeling the urge to journal for quite some time now. I guess keeping a journal & pen & Bible beside my bed is the best possible place to actually fulfill this goal. So I read the Daily Bread devotion & it led me to John 14.13-14. I've read this Scripture before, but this time I realized if I just ask God for help, He's there! No matter what time of day or night. I don't have to wait for him to wake up (like my husband) or wait until it's a decent time of day (calling a friend or family). Anytime, He's there! What a blessing to be intimate with God!
Yesterday was pretty rough. In the afternoon, I got my hair highlighted & it didn't turn out like I hoped. It's a nice job, but too light for me. Matt even thought so & was honest with me. He told me the cut was nice (just a trim since I'm growing it out, just how he likes), but the color didn't go well with my dark eyebrows. So I'm hoping to get some lowlights put in. You're probably thinking....ok so what, it's just hair! But hair means a lot to women! :) So in light of the highlights, I was pretty upset thinking taking time out for myself (had a wonderful friend, Cameron, watch Ellie for a few hours), getting pampered a bit, would make me feel better. But honestly, it didn't. The having someone wash my hair part & chatting with a friend part was awesome! But when I saw my reflection in the mirror, I didn't like what I saw. Lately, I've been really down about not losing my "baby weight". I am realizing I gained a little too much during pregnancy & breastfeeding didn't help these last 20 lbs just "fall off". I just finished breastfeeding b/c Ellie seemed content with whole milk & it's so much more convenient. I feel good about going a whole year of breastfeeding, but I felt it was time to move on. Maybe having Matt return from a year in Iraq had something to do with it too! ;) But the weight has not simply fallen off like a lot of women claim. I have been exercising more, as I joined the Alaska Club, but I guess I haven't been working hard enough & not eating the right foods, or drinking enough water. I am striving to lose weight, look more attractive to feel better about myself & be a better, more attractive wife for my husband, & set a good example for Ellie. So I've been struggling & struggling with my body image, my pre-pregnancy clothes not fitting, not liking how I look in pictures, comparing myself to other women. Last night when I read this Scripture, John 14.13-14, I realized I can ask God to help me lose weight & feel better about myself! I can do all things through Him, who strengthens me! (Phillipians 4:13) I shouldn't have to rely on my husband or my friends for approval in how I feel as a woman. I need to go to God & ask Him to restore me. Oh how I want this to soak in! I want to be a better woman for myself, my husband, my daughter, my friends, my family. If you have any suggestions on how to lose "those last 10-20 lbs after a baby", feel free to share! I am considering the Hallelujah Diet http://www.hacres.com/diet/diet.asp, Slim in Six (Weeks) http://www.beachbody.com/product/fitness_programs/slim_in_6.do, Kickboxing/Tae Bo DVDs.
Thank you for being my blog buddy!
Love,
Hayley
I saw Slim in 6 on TV. It's very convincing! You look wonderful Hayley! Don't be too hard on yourself. :)
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