Two Under Two

It's been a little nutty lately trying to stay afloat with life. Between potty training, disciplining two year old, Ellie, who I've been told by her preschool/Sunday School teachers that she is quite active, keeping my two year old entertained and making time to teach her fun things, dropping and picking her up from preschool, then switching gears to changing Alyssa's diapers and preparing bottles every few hours, making time to play with my baby girl who is almost 9 months old already, then being involved in a military wives' bible study (PWOC), bible study at church...it can get crazy. I wonder how did I get here? Why am I so stressed out all the time? My husband worries that I never relax. I get up early with my early risers (the girls, not my husband), then stay up late to take full advantage of my "free time" after the girls are in bed. So in the middle of all of that I try to keep a clean house, have clean laundry, folded and put away, not to mention all the projects I intend to do. I want to scrapbook my girls' first years, create photobooks for the following years, Matt's Army scrapbook, our time in Hawaii and Alaska, and books for the grandparents. There is just not enough time in the day. I'm struggling with getting my daily moments alone with God. It seems I just get 5 minutes here and there. I guess no matter what, as long as I find some time to pray and thank God for my blessings, that's good. I try to make time to workout, plan meals, budget our finances, and spend time with friends. I need help! The more time I spend with my girls, the more I appreciate my own mom. Kids are a lot of work, in addition to all the other things in life! But they are so worth it! I just want to learn how to be the best mom I can be and the best wife I can be in the process of it all. I need to learn how to best manage my time. Maybe if I workout first thing, that would work. I am learning that if we tithe in church regularly, we do not run out of money or go under at the end of the pay period. Weird how that works. I am learning daily that if I listen to God, He provides for our needs, He brings His perfect peace. I just need to listen more, starting NOW!

Sister Love

On this Valentine's Day, I want to thank God for my sweet little Valentine's - Elliana & Alyssa (in addition to my #1 Valentine, my hubby, Matt). It's such a joy to watch my two year old and six month old interact with one another. They just look at each other eye to eye and stare. Alyssa, the baby, smiles and tends to make sporadic noises that are pretty entertaining. I am so happy to have two girls so they can share what my little sister, six years younger, and I share...sister love. It is a challenge to get Ellie, my toddler, to not play rough with Alyssa. I feel like I'm constantly saying, "be gentle" "be nice", "Ellie, DON'T"! I turn my head one time and she's got her foot on her  baby sister or getting ready to throw something at her. It is making this parenting process all the more interesting and challenging. But I hope that someday, Ellie and Alyssa can be close. I will forever cherish my sister and hope my girls can grow just as close.

She is your mirror, shining back at you with a world of possibilities.  She is your witness, who sees you at your worst and best, and loves you anyway.  She is your partner in crime, your midnight companion, someone who knows when you are smiling, even in the dark.  She is your teacher, your defense attorney, your personal press agent, even your shrink.  Some days, she's the reason you wish you were an only child.  ~Barbara Alpert

Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

Today I had to give my daughter, Ellie, two years old, a spanking. A real, honest spanking, like the ones I remember as a child. I waited until we got home from picking her up at preschool or Mother's Day Out at a local Baptist church, then took her straight to her room, and sat down with her. Then I told her because she behaved so badly as I picked her up from preschool today, she was getting punished for not listening to me when I called her, then proceeded to throw a full blown tantrum in front of everyone. I felt like all the other mothers, children and teachers were wondering why this child absolutely refused to go home with her mother. I was embarrassed. But I recall some kids throwing similar tantrums from time to time, so I don't think it's only my child. Though, at the time, it certainly felt like she was the only one who could not be controlled.

I felt horrible having to spank her. But I sincerely feel that the discipline I received as a child benefited me through my life. I made sure I wasn't fuming before actually spanking her. I laid her on my lap and pulled down her pull-ups and gave her three swats. I now believe "this hurts me as much as it hurts you." I am wondering how to handle this tantrum process. It seems so hard. I think I'm a pretty laid back person, so it's tough to have such a strong willed child. I know it could really benefit her in the long run, if I discipline her through God's authority and His love. I pray that she learns from this and that I can help her become a respectful, polite little girl through toddlerhood. This parenting thing is a challenge indeed!

New Year, New Me

Happy New Year! 2010 was a great year for the Haynes fam. We moved from Alaska to Georgia, Matt changed jobs to be an instructor at Signal Captain's Career Course, we had our second baby girl, and made many new friends! So far 2011 has been off to a great start! Matt is working a lot, but he is enjoying what he does! So we can't complain! Ellie is almost two and a half years old and we are finding out she is developing into a little girl overnight. Alyssa is now six months old and on the verge of sitting up and crawling. I am continually amazed how fast kids grow. You are told that when they are first born, but don't believe it for yourself until it happens right under your nose.

We are very active with our church, Vineyard Community Church in Evans, Georgia. Matt leads bible study and worship from time to time and we are in the process of working with the children's ministry in the near future. I am staying active with the PWOC community on Fort Gordon. This past year, I served as the Administrative Coordinator. I really enjoyed being a part of the board and getting to know the ladies better. I was not able to go on the International Conference in November because Alyssa was just a few months old and I only attended our local spring retreat in South Carolina for a day so I could continue breastfeeding Alyssa. I can only pump so much milk for her when I'm away! Even though breastfeeding is a big commitment, I know it's well worth the time and effort. I also really enjoy bonding with my baby.

I feel like there is so much to say these days, so much on my mind. I have recently been wondering how stay-at-home-moms stay sane day in and day out. Life with a toddler and a baby can be treacherous at times. Sometimes I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel after piles of laundry and full garbage bags of diapers and wipes, but from time to time, mostly when I'm spending time with God, I see the light! I know these precious children are only in my care for a certain amount of time and I am called to raise them as their mother. I really enjoy the pleasant moments, the smiles, hugs, laughs, giggles, dancing, reading books, puzzles, playing on the playground, swinging. I don't enjoy the tantrums, the crying bouts, the poop, the boogs, the spit up, but it's all one big package of joy! I am currently doing a study on Judy Rossi's Raising Responsive Children, as well as finishing Tedd Tripp's Shepherding a Child's Heart. I continually learn more and more about being a parent. I hope to apply all that I am learning!

Any advice you have about motherhood, I certainly welcome! I need all the help I can get!

God bless you!